Rebuild, Revitalize, Recharge without Guilt and Resentment
You know these positions all too well, provider, nurse, teacher, caretaker, motivator, coach, taxi driver, therapist, household CEO, chef, housekeeper, financial planner, detective, PTA mom, night watcher, boogeyman destroyer, doctor, nurse, handywoman … they are all the demands and more of a single mom. Do you feel the tightness of your shoulders and your chest as your read the endless duties of our life? Pay attention, because what you are feeling is stress. Your body is talking to you saying … “it’s time for a much-needed break.”
Demands and More Demands of Single Mom
The demands of a single mom are endless, but there comes a time when we must pump the breaks, pause, and prioritize. Believe it or not, many moms find it hard to take a time out. They find it difficult to take a break. Guilt and resentment plague our minds and hearts because we can’t imagine doing anything without the children. We are supermoms! The kids are our life, our love, and they are our reasons for being. Who are we to feel overwhelmed? We got this… this frustration that we feel is nothing that a hot bath want to solve. Not … and Shame on us!
Guilt and Resentment Happens to All Moms
Ding ding … guilt and resentment happen to all moms. The key is to recognize that you are suffering from burnout. And no one wants to admit burnout to anyone, especially a single mom. A few months after my wondrous miracle son was born, I was going through a serious case of sleep deprivation. I was overly exhausted. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or think. Honestly, I did not understand how to cope with this new feeling of anxiety. So, out of desperation, I telephoned a close friend and after chatting for minutes, I said, “I need help.” I’m telling you, uttering those three words was like cold thick molasses dripping from a spoon. She said, “from one mother to another I understand and I got you.” I made plans for a getaway weekend at a local lakefront resort. The tranquil surroundings were breathtaking. But, I couldn’t relax. The racing thoughts about what is he doing? Is he sleeping? Is he eating? I hope he’s not giving her a difficult time. And, just like that … resentment kicked in … why did I leave my baby … I can’t afford this getaway … he needs me. After the third call to check on him, my friend said, “Gloria, please relax.” She assured me he was fine and after hearing his melodious giggles and cueing; the guilt and resentment melted away. I relaxed and enjoyed the two-day getaway.
Rebuild, Revitalize, and Recharge
Time away is good for you! It is a time for you to rebuild, revitalize, and recharge. It’s even better for the kids because you return as a rejuvenated mom. And remember, to keep the ritual going even if you just set aside fifteen minutes for quiet time to ignite your energy and settle your mind.
If you still cannot get over the guilt of spending time away or on yourself; give yourself permission to work through the process. Guilt feelings are not productive in helping you be your personal best.
Find Time to Rejuvenate
As a single mom, your child(ren) and everything that involves them and the household fall on you. I can not stress this enough, finding the time to rejuvenate and carve out alone time and social time to care for yourself is extremely important. When you release the guilt and resentment, the end result will have a positive impact on you and your babies.
All the best,